Last night and this morning I felt discouraged. My mind was swirling with all sorts of negative thoughts. It's easy to get in that type of cycle. Thankfully, today I scheduled in a holy hour. I'm going to start, now, doing it every day. I'll have to in the future anyway. I had no idea how good it would be for me this morning, however.
One of the best parts of the Mass is when we say, Domine, non sum dignus ut intres sub tectum meum, sed tantum dic verbo, et sanabitur anima mea. The name of my blog comes from this part of the Mass. The literal translation of this is something like, "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed." Unfortunately, in the English translation of the Mass from the 70s, which is still in use, this part of the Mass is mis-translated as "Lord, I am not worthy to receive you..." Because this passage wasn't translated literally, we lose the Biblical reference made in this part of the Mass. In Matthew 8:8 the centurion says to Jesus, "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof: but only say the word, and my servant shall be healed."
I thought about this concept today. As I was in holy hour, I thought about what an undeserved privilege it was for me to be there. What right do I have to sit in the presence of my God? I am not even worthy to stand in the presence of the Most Blessed Sacrament, much less receive it into my body. That's why the words "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof" are so appropriate before holy communion.
In these coming days, my struggle will be to continue in the practice of the holy hour, as well as to engage in positive thinking about my tasks. Really, I ought to abandon my worries to Divine Providence, praying for the grace I need to perform my duties with joy and diligence. And I must keep in mind the words of our Lord: "I say to you, Ask, and it shall be given you: seek, and you shall find: knock, and it shall be opened to you." (Luke 11:9)
They that sow in tears shall reap in joy. Going their way they went and wept: scattering their seed. But returning, they shall come with joyfulness: bringing their sheaves with them.
1 comment:
That is my favorite part of Mass (besides communion)! This is so true, and saying that every Mass reminds me of how unworthy I am. So much in fact, that I also have to remind myself that Jesus asks us to receive Him, so I should (because otherwise, I may feel like I shouldn't receive communion). I really miss adoration!
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