The World's Problem

Being here on campus, observing students' behavior, and trying to enter into their lives, has led me to believe that perhaps the world's biggest problem is lack of love - not a mere unwillingness to love - but a fear of loving and of being loved and a fear of being or appearing vulnerable to others. It's a deep insecurity, an overpowering fear. When I'm walking on campus and look up at someone and notice they are looking at me, they quickly turn away their eyes and look at shrubbery across the street. I observe people walking. When there is nobody around, they have their heads up high, but when somebody approaches their heads drop down to the ground, only to rise again when the person passes. We live in a world where where people are afraid to acknowledge the existence of others.

Yesterday I was in the main student dining area, and as I was leaving I saw a group of students walking to class. One of the guys said goodbye to the others, but one of his friends gave him a hug. The guy who received the hug was really embarrassed and made some sort of joke about it, like "no homo." We live in a world under the oppression of the scandal of homosexuality, where to love another man is to be gay and to be straight is to love no men at all. This distorted way of thinking, even though it is a result of the effect of homosexuality on society, is as much perpetuated by heterosexuals as it is by homosexuals. That is why straight men have to offer explanation for hugging other men - "no homo."

I suppose the deep insecurities of fear of love have existed around me all my life, but now I am beginning to notice them in myself and in others. One of my areas of insecurity is saying goodbye to people. If I am in a large group, I feel really uncomfortable saying goodbye, so I normally just slip away quietly. Why am I so afraid of that? There is no logical reason.

Many men in our world are wounded. While it is socially acceptable for a woman to show her woundedness, men are deeply ashamed of their wounds. In my experience watching couples, women are often highly insensitive to the wounds of men. They often insult men for having wounds and make them feel ashamed of them. I don't think those women realize the gravity of their actions. They are used to thinking of men as emotionless. If a man has problems, he just needs to suck it up and, well, be a man.

Men do not treat other men any better. As a result of our society's disorder, many boys grow up without fathers or at least without good fathers. Many males don't know how to be men. No one ever taught them. But men in our society are expected to be men no matter if they were taught to be so or not. Even in our "man activities" within our work on campus, I've noticed that we don't really teach guys how to be men. We just invite guys to do manly things together and the guys who know how to be men come to those events while the guys who don't know how to be men come up with excuses why they can't come. It's not merely good enough to ask men to come to play football. The only ones who will come are the ones who already know how to play football, while the ones who never had fathers to teach them to throw a football will stay at home and play video games or sleep, or whatever they do. I have never seen a men's group offer to teach guys how to play football.

This post will end now. I have a meeting.