Charismatic Retreat

I went on a retreat this weekend on the topics of spiritual warfare and the charismatic gifts. There were people praying in tongues, laughing, crying, "resting in the Spirit", and even dancing. A priest and a prayer team went around praying over people.

I was once suspicious of the Charismatic Movement. I'm more open to it now. It seems like psychological suggestion at surface level. But, then again, who am I to judge the interior movements of the soul? I can't see inside souls. I will, however, speak on my experience. The way the priest was talking and praying, along with the trance-like, repetitive music, relaxed me. I swayed with the music. It seemed authentic. They prayed over me three times. One of the times I started laughing because it seemed so ridiculous. But, I kept on agreeing to be open to whatever God might give me. The priest prayed over me the final time. He spoke slowly and softly. I can't remember what he was saying, but it was repetitive. With his hands on me, he slightly swayed me back and forth, as if he were inviting me to fall over. After a few moments I gave in and fell back. I laid on the floor in front of the Blessed Sacrament, and I fell asleep. When I woke, I could not tell how long I had slept. The music still was playing, and most everyone else was also lying on the floor.

I'm not certain whether my experience was from the Holy Spirit. I was relaxed and, since everyone else was laying down, I just followed suit. When I heard people pray in tongues, it was like meaningless babbling. It sounded like someone who was trying to speak in Aramaic but didn't know anything about the language. Another priest described it to me this way: when someone prays in tongues, it's like speaking to Baby Jesus in baby talk, so you just make a bunch of goo goo ga ga sounds. The priest said the reason why people pray in tongues is that normal vocal prayer requires a lot of thought and planning. When we are praying aloud in normal circumstances, most of our mental powers are spent thinking about what we are going to say and if it sounds reasonable. Praying in tongues removes this. Instead of thinking of what we will say, we make up words and focus our energy instead on thinking about what we want God to hear.

In the retreat, I began to understand why the Charismatic movement exists. The point of all those things was to build the Church. What I noticed is that, in an environment like that, people let their guards down. They were no longer afraid to say their private prayers aloud. They were no longer afraid to pray for each other aloud. They were no longer afraid to approach complete strangers, pray for them, and touch them. This is what happens in a Charismatic prayer service. People worship together with the same vulnerability that they might worship if they were alone in a bedroom. They sing loud, dance, and say crazy things. Members of the Church experience bonding, healing, community, and acceptance.

I am still skeptical, but I understand the Charismatic movement better.

Another insight I had was that the Church has always been charismatic. I also realized that I have been charismatic all along. The traditional Latin Mass, which speaks to me, is charismatic. At first, it appears and sounds crazy. The entire Mass is prayed in tongues: Latin, Greek, and Hebrew. The precise movements of the sacred ministers are like dancing. There are all the sensual enrichments: the candles, the bells, and the incense. Even Gregorian chant is charismatic. Have you ever heard a Gregorian alleluia? Gregorian alleluias are so ecstatic! Here's how one of them I know is sung (each syllable represents a separate note):

Al-le-lu-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-u-ia-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

As I said, I also realized that the Holy Spirit has given me some of the charismatic gifts all along. The first Mass I ever went to, I received the gift of tears. In my holy hours, I have sometimes fallen into a very peaceful state that resembles resting in the spirit. Almost every time I go the a traditional Latin Mass I receive the gift of tears. Last week at a weekday Mass, I received the gift of tears while singing the communion song, What Wondrous Love is This. And, many times when I pray by myself, I pray in tongues. That is, I speak phrases without thinking about what they mean while at the same time thinking about God and how much I love Him.