Consummatum est.

I am finished with just about everything. The exams and projects are done, and all fees are paid. Now I just need to walk.

It is beginning to sink in on me that I am now over with a chapter of my life. At first I did not think of it much, but now I find myself trying to hurry up and do things I always wanted to do and spend time with those I wanted to spend more time with. The biggest struggle I must now overcome is the urge to become a hermit. Whenever something big in life is coming to an end, I become really melancholic. I want to go off and sleep or otherwise be alone. But at the same time it's being alone that makes me feel even worse. It's a destructive cycle. Luckily, one of the things I've learned over my time at college is that I'm not a slave to my thoughts. Instead of being controlled by them, I simply have to acknowledge their existence and move on.

It's strange to think back on periods of life when I reach an end. It's amazing how a relatively small number of events have had an impact on my life. For instance, one night, two years ago, I forgot to set my alarm clock before going to bed. I woke up late for an exam the next morning and had to drop the class. Dropping the class made it so I had to add a whole extra year to my time in college. In the extra year I added, I encountered FOCUS. FOCUS is what I've committed to do for the next two years of my life, and it all goes back to a careless mistake I made two years ago.

I don't regret being at Auburn as long as I have, even though it was not ideal. I think if I had left two years ago it would have seemed too soon. I was immature. I was socially inept (as hard as it is to believe, I could have been even worse than I am now). Many important questions in my life were still unanswered. I think if I had left Auburn on time, I might not be as good of a Catholic as I am today (even though I still have far to go). Who knows where I would have gone. But, there is little use speculating. Where I am now is how things are, for better or worse.

I feel a sense of relief today. It's nice to have a weight lifted, when real things have been accomplished. Now, I have less than a month to gather names and addresses, read a few books, move out of my apartment, and spend quality time with my friends and family.

In the end, "all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well" (Bl. Julian of Norwich)