Faulkner, Change, and Quietness

Right now I'm (re-)reading William Faulkner's Absalom, Absalom. I must admit I enjoy the book much more this time. The first time I comprehended very little and only enjoyed it on a superficial level. This time I researched into the significance and context of the novel, by which it all makes more sense. I have loved Faulkner ever since I was haunted by The Sound and the Fury in high school. The South itself haunts my mind.


William Faulkner

Moving on. I am growing excited about my move next week. Living in a new place has the benefit of allowing change in habits. When at home or around Auburn, it's very easy for me to live day in and day out mindlessly following the grain of my habits. This can be good or bad. Moving to a new place can, in some ways, allow me to practice better habits. There is an added benefit of being an unknown person at first. No one looks at me for the first time and says, "That's Ross! He's supposed to be quiet!" or whatever else people assume about me here in Auburn. The stubborn person that I am, and sometimes too prideful, I never like to show people I change, especially if that change is obviously in response to their comments or criticism. If I am quiet when I first meet a person and he/she accuses me of being quiet, I can sometimes be so stubborn that I will hardly utter a word in their presence for the rest of my life. That's how prideful I can be at times. This is obviously a problem I need to work on: that I am so prideful that I would never allow a person to think I followed their advice or responded to their criticism.

On the other hand, I can speak from personal experience in saying that it's always bad to tell a shy person that they're being quiet. Shy people are actually aware of that fact. By telling a shy person they're quiet, you unintentionally reinforce the reason behind the shyness. Shy people think that everyone around them is thinking about them and noticing their behaviors. They act shy in response to this fear of being observed. When you tell a shy person they're quiet, you reinforce the idea that people around them are paying attention to their behavior, and therefore reinforce their shyness. So, in summary, it's nearly always bad to start a conversation with a quiet person by pointing out their quietness. As a quiet person, this happens to me a lot. It's not a conversation starter, but a conversation ender. Instead, start the conversation by asking a question that can't be answered in a yes or no answer (or any other standardized answer).