Impaction

In life, we are pressured to explain ourselves in such a way that makes it seem like everything is figured out already. At least, it seems that way to me. I feel like we are pressured to have an answer for everything. It refreshes me to see times in life when it's all right not to have an answer. I once had a job interview where I was being pounded with questions and felt overwhelmed. Eventually, when it came to a tough question, I simply said "I don't have an answer to that." And that was it.

Lately I've been hearing the question, "Why are you doing FOCUS?" or "How has FOCUS impacted your life?" My answer is simple. FOCUS hasn't impacted my life - at least not in any coherent and complete way. I am a convert to Catholicism, but FOCUS had no influence in that. After I converted I fell away from the Church for a while, and eventually reverted, but FOCUS didn't influence that either. FOCUS hasn't had a really major impact on my life in any way, up until two months ago when I went to training. So why, then, am I a FOCUS missionary? I don't have a clear answer. I probably won't have a clear answer until after I finish FOCUS. What I do know is this: when I encountered FOCUS, I believed that God could do a lot of good in people's lives through it. I saw a lot of potential. I believed God could do a lot of good for our world through FOCUS. I even believed that FOCUS could impact my life. I still believe FOCUS will impact my life. I guess that's why I am a FOCUS missionary. I don't have a very clean-cut answer for people. I don't have a standardized story with a clear conclusion. I just see myself in a process of moving closer to our Lord, and I see FOCUS working in that process.